Happy Tailz

You might be a Goat Dairy Owner if.............

  • 1. If your backyard ends at an electric fence
  • 2. If the childrens drinking glasses are milk replacer cups.
  • 3. If manure is a dinner table topic
  • 4. If you know the price of milk per hundred weight but not by the
  • gallon.
  • 5. If your kids sandbox is an old tractor tire.
  • 6. If you have three pairs of Tingley boots and two pair all go to the
  • same foot.
  • 7. If the medicine cabinet in your house contains a container of bag
  • balm.
  • 8. If you’ve ever gotten an award for fat (and were proud of it).
  • 9. If your idea of a power lunch is a sandwich on a tractor.
  • 10. If your idea of carpentry work includes a chainsaw and bent nails.
  • 11. If fence repair is second nature.
  • 12. If you can fix anything with baler twine, WD-40, a piece of wire,
  • duct tape and a pair of vise grips.
  • 13. If your idea of a neighborhood watch is someone calling you to let
  • you know your bucks are out.
  • 14. If the front door on your house has the key in it all the time so it
  • doesn’t get lost.
  • 15. If your idea of mass transit is moving your does to the crowd area,
  • holding pen or pasture.
  • 16. If most of your good headgear advertises semen, seeds, or feed
  • 17. If you have more than a dozen cats.
  • 18. If you have more pictures of your goats than of your children.
  • 19. If your idea of overnight delivery is pulling a set of trips at three in the
  • morning.
  • 20. If you can remember the name of every goat on the farm but the names of
  • your children elude you.

A shepherd was herding his flocks in a remote pasture when suddenly a new Jeep Grand Cherokee flashes out of a dust cloud toward him. The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, Ray Ban sunglasses, and a YSL tie leaned out of the window and asks our shepherd: "If I can tell you exactly how many goats you have in your flock, will you give me one'?"

The shepherd looks at the yuppie, then at his peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers, "Why not?"

The yuppie parks the car, whips out his notebook, connects it to a cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the Internet where he calls up a GPS satellite navigation system, scans the area, and opens up a database and some 60 Excel spreadsheets, with complex formulas. Finally, he prints out a 150 page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized printer, turns round to our shepherd, and says: "You have exactly 1,586 goats!"

"That's correct. As agreed, you can take one of the goats," says the shepherd. The shepherd watches, as the yuppie makes a selection and bundles it into his Grand Cherokee. Then, the shepherd says to the yuppie, "If I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me my goat back?"

"Why not?" answers the smart young man.

"You are a consultant," says the shepherd.

"That's correct," says the yuppie, "But how did you guess that?"

"It was easy. You turn up here, although nobody called you. You want to be paid for the answer to a question, to which I already knew the solution. And you don't know sh - - about my business, because you took my dog."

Here is a puzzle sent to me by a member of the email list you can print and enjoy. COMING SOON!!!